Review Time (Again)

Books, Beer, Cheese, and Hiking.

I believe it was the Carthaginians you coined the phrase: you know you're getting a quality beer if the label tells you an ideal temperature to set your refridgerator to. My last bottle of hard cider told me to serve for ideal flavor at 44 degrees Ferhenheit. I did just that with my lovely Samuel Smith's while reading one of the truly most-enjoyable books I have ever come across: "The Making of Victorian Values". What a joy to read. It is at one time, a massive, detail-oriented tome dissecting and aggrandizing a narrow sliver of history from a small island that is already too obsessed with itself and has been since the sinking of the Spanish Armada (done mostly by wind, might I add: more a stroke for the idea that God hates Catholics and popes, than that he favors the British, although one has to feel that whether God wanted the Europeans to slaughter the Indians or not, he did put all the guns on one side: then again, and I apologize for these diversions, dear reader, he did put massive salt-peter deposits along the coasts of Chile, so I guess the Incas could have been ready had they wanted to- (and do you ever think while eating a potato, that Cortez is somewhere standing in a fire screaming: Damn Pizzarro, and still bothered by his low public opinion- consistently low since his own life when he returned to Spain and no one would let him in the house having heard rumors and fearing he might corrupt their sons or abscond with their daughters?- I mean Pizzarro slaughtered the Incas who were a bunch of Mister Rogers level good neighbors to one another compared with Cortez's Aztecs. Montezuma had his priests fire the hearts of Cortez's captured men at the Spaniards as they made one of their retreats, and the bodies, still a little alive, were torn apart by wild dogs in plain sight on high steps- does this sound like a group of sorry doormats we should sob about?- but then again, the Incas (coming back to the potato now I promise) got their revenge: Pizzarro brought the spud back to the European mainland where it did little to alter the economies of the Mediterranean, but helped fuel population booms in the colder, wetter norths, and help to shift the power to the UK especially, thus screwing Spain. Next time you eat a potato, chew on that!)- well "The Making of Victorian Values" also reads like a tabloid. Crim. con. cases galore, divorces, smut, beer halls, drunken protests invoving bare ass cheeks, the militant seizing of Shakespeare plays by amateurs in the audience who think they have not gotten their money's worth, uptight protestants insisting that pianos wear special pantalettes to shield young ladies from any thougts of bare legs, dirty puppet shows in back alleys, dirty puppet shows in parks on the Sabbath, girls being thrown out of house and home as skankosauruses if they fail to faint at a dinner party when someone says "what a delish chicken breast", the hanging of such thoughtless speakers, and oh so much more. I recommend it.

Another fun read that has little to do with food is 1688, a book that takes you around the world (Texas, Japan, Jacarta, Germany, to Versailles, to China, to India, to the aborigines in Australia- you find out what everyone is doing for once) and is written in fine baroque fashion, to use the baroque sense of the word. To find out what that means, you will have to read the book. It is a marvelous concept and goes contrary to the history style of textbooks that always annoyed me: you spend a month studying China and then start all over at the moment a fish crawled out of the ocean with France, and then go to North America the month after. Makes it darned hard to ever make connections. For instance have you ever wondered what was going in France during the American Civil War? A fun read that never manages to go into too exaustive of detail and wear out its welcome.

"Catching Fire" was a magnificent book. Explores different theories of when fire and cooking developed, how they contributed to evolution, and goes into modern anthropology exploring gender roles in cooking around the world. Absolute must read for anyone who likes science, food, or gender studies. Camila I am speaking directly at you here.

"The Invention of Air" is also a good quick read. It touches on a lot of subjects but mostly tells the story of one of Ben Franklin's friends and contemporaries who discovered oxygen and sort of the atmosphere. Interesting to note that scientists and religious men were obsessed with finding the ether for thousands of years and space turned out to be a vaccuum, which broke the hearts and sanity or many great and famous people, while air was believed to be nothing, that is, empty, in its pure state, and only polluted when things were put into it. Yet air turned out all along to contain something to study. That is my extrapolation which you will not get directly from the text. The best point in the book is that coffee may have fueled the Enlightenment directly, and that the coffeehouse has more to do with intellectual growth than the library. This point may be borrowed from "The History of the World in Six Glasses" which I am just starting, another ingenious book that tells world history through the most successful drinks, including of course, wine, beer, and coffee.

Micheal Palin has several great books, but "Botany of Desire" if I have not mentioned previously is my favorite. I mention it because of the history you will get of apples, having mentioned hard cider earlier.

The only exotic cheese of late I have tried was a porter stilton. Excellent, although one could simply buy a good porter (if one is not in Utah, the state that does not believe in any fun, but currently is changing liquor laws to entice more tourists to come: um, so just so we're clear, evil is evil, but not in a bad economy as long as the heathens will leave by the next available flight?), and any kind of cheese. I loved it with crackers for breakfast actually.

Good beer is hard to come by, but Olde Suffulk is a fine blend of ales aged in oaken barrels. Not as good as the ultimate oak-aged beer: Petrus Classic. But very good. Its been a long time since I've had any magnificent beer. I will have to start breaking the law to find a good one. Or slip into a gas station in Portland at 5 am to buy singles while Teresa is sleeping and then chug them warm while she showers to keep the peace on a vacation out of state. Both are good plans in their way.

Have had some fabulous hiking all year. In Utah "Red Breaks" is a superb adventure. You will need a rugged vehicle (or a Toyota Camry if you are a very good and gutsy driver), a hefty rope and a guide, unless you are me or bring me along. I made the whole canyon solo and without rope, but it is challenging climbing and even the professional guide book said not to go alone and that rope would be required. I would go back is all I'm saying...Nearby the mega crowded, and pimped in every book about Utah "Calf Creek Falls Trail" will take you to "Calf Creek Falls". I managed to be there between amusement park shifts, so I had the whole thing to myself. Who know you could nearly get hypothermia on a 104 degree day? Beautiful falls, truly. A better lonelier hike will be found in "Capitol Reef" National Park. Hike some smooth canyon rims overlooking great scenery and rock formations of every color and shape along the "Navajo Nobs" trail. Start 45 minutes before sunrise or you will miss it all. The trail was hot, blinding and blistering on my way down, but I saw fins, spears, towers, domes, and vistas too grand for words in perfect lighting on my way up. Everyone misses the wonder by sleeping in. I have many photos to prove just how great this trail is. The rest of the park you can enjoy just as well from your car, excepting the native deer herd with no fear of humans who will eat almost out of your hand. West Slabs of Mount Olympus overlooking Utah involves very little hiking but offers many climbing options of an easy nature, with glorious views, along a wall that from below seems unclimbable. Getting down is more challenging. Most people will want rope along, and a pal. In Oregon, everything I did in the Redwoods was awesome, so get out of your car and try a short trail or two, and Humbug Mountain has a fun name. Tide pooling in Yachats was excellent, Arizona Beach is a bit of a secret, and most of the mountains whose names I forget at the moment along the coast can be completed in around an hour, if you want to show off or have someone waiting for you in the car. I passed 51 people on one trail and most of them were happy: they were getting quite a show. I was sprinting in my pure goat style down wet muddy rocky slopes during a rain storm. I passed an entire schoolbus of children on a field trip going up another even wimpier Pacific mountain and they thought I was either Batman or Spiderman when the sun goes down. Good times.